
The courage to be hated
(Japanese) Ichiro Kishimi, Fumio Koga
Mechanical Industry Press
2021-01-01
BackSummary
This book uses the story of "a dialogue between a young man and a philosopher" to summarize the thoughts of Alfred Adler (Adlerian psychology), who is known as one of the "three giants of psychology" along with Freud and Jung. Adlerian psychology, which is popular in Europe and the United States, has a great impact on...
Highlights
The following are wonderful sentences or paragraphs selected from the book "The Courage to Be Disliked". I will try to select those with profound meaning, unique perspective, beautiful language, wisdom or creativity, and output them according to the numbers 1-20. Due to the limitations of the book content, I cannot guarantee that every sentence strictly meets all the standards, but I will try to select the most representative sentences. 1. "The so-called freedom is to be hated by others." This sentence subverts our conventional understanding of freedom, pointing out that true freedom does not lie in catering to others, but in daring to be yourself, even if it may lead to being hated by others. 2. "All troubles come from interpersonal relationships." The author puts forward a unique point of view that many troubles in our lives can actually be traced back to the relationship with others, which provides us with a new way of thinking to solve troubles. 3. "People do not live in an objective world, but in a subjective world created by themselves." This sentence emphasizes that our cognition of the world is actually largely constructed by our own subjective consciousness, reminding us to look at the world and ourselves more objectively. 4. “It is not our past experiences that determine us, but the meaning we give to our experiences.” The author challenges the conventional thinking that “the past determines the present” and proposes that we ourselves are the key factor in determining our own lives. 5. “So-called anger is actually just a ‘means’ that can be released or withdrawn.” This sentence reveals the nature of anger and points out that anger is actually a strategy we use to achieve a certain goal, which helps us control our emotions more rationally. 6. “The answer should not be obtained from others, but should be found by ourselves.” The author emphasizes the importance of self-exploration and encourages us to face our own problems bravely and find our own answers. 7. “No matter what happened in your previous life, it has no effect on how you spend your future life.” This sentence is full of philosophical wisdom, reminding us not to be bound by the past, but to live bravely in the present and create the future. 8. “People can only gain courage when they can feel that they are valuable.” The author points out the close connection between courage and self-worth, reminding us to attach importance to cultivating our own self-worth. 9. "A healthy inferiority complex does not come from comparing with others, but from comparing with the 'ideal self'." This sentence provides us with a new perspective to look at inferiority complex, encouraging us to race with ourselves and constantly surpass ourselves. 10. "We do not live to meet the expectations of others." This sentence reminds us to live our own way, rather than live the way others expect us to live, and is full of the power of self-awakening. 11. "If there is 'competition' in interpersonal relationships, then people cannot get rid of the troubles brought by interpersonal relationships, nor can they get rid of misfortune." The author deeply analyzes the impact of competition on interpersonal relationships and points out that competition is the root cause of tension and misfortune in interpersonal relationships. 12. "Once you confirm that 'I am right' in interpersonal relationships, you have already entered a power struggle." This sentence reveals the universality of power struggles in interpersonal relationships and reminds us to be vigilant against this unconscious competitive behavior. 13. "If you don't know how to respect others, you can't respect yourself." The author emphasizes the importance of respecting others, pointing out that respecting others is actually respecting yourself, which reflects the profound wisdom of interpersonal communication. 14. “We are like actors who have stepped down from the stage, standing on the side of the stage and watching the interweaving lights and shadows on the stage, and forgetting that the turned-off stage lights once shone on ourselves.” This beautiful passage describes the phenomenon that we tend to ignore ourselves when observing others, and reminds us to always be self-aware. 15. “Life is like a continuous moment that keeps spinning and dancing at every moment.” The author uses poetic language to describe the continuity of life, encouraging us to cherish every moment and live in the present. 16. “As long as the dancing ‘now’ is fulfilling, it is enough.” This sentence is full of Zen, reminding us to focus on the present and enjoy the beauty of every moment. 17. “There is no universal meaning of life.” The author challenges the traditional concept of the meaning of life, and proposes that everyone needs to give unique meaning to their own life, which reflects a profound philosophical thinking on life. 18. "No matter what moment you live, even if someone hates you, as long as you don't lose the guiding star of 'others' contribution, then you will not be lost, and you can do anything." This sentence is full of wisdom and power, encouraging us to pursue our own value while not forgetting to contribute to others, and to achieve the unity of self-value and social value. 19. "Someone must start. Even if others don't cooperate, it has nothing to do with you. This is my opinion. It should be you who starts. Don't consider whether others cooperate or not." The author encourages us to take the first step bravely and not wait for others' cooperation or recognition, which embodies the spirit of positive activism. 20. "The world is simple, and so is life." This sentence is concise and profound, reminding us not to be confused by the complexity of the world and life, but to keep a clear mind and a simple mind to face everything.
About the Author
Ichiro Kishimi and Fumio Koga are two famous Japanese writers who co-authored the book "The Courage to Be Disliked", which has received widespread attention and praise since its publication.< Below, we will introduce these two authors from the perspectives of personal basic information, education and professional background, writing career, work style and theme, personal life, social influence, citations and evaluations, and latest developments.
1.
Personal basic information: Ichiro Kishimi, a famous Japanese writer, was born in 1963 and graduated from Waseda University.< Fumio Koga, a best-selling Japanese author, was born in 1963 and graduated from Rikkyo University.
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Education and professional background: Ichiro Kishimi majored in literature at Waseda University and developed a strong interest in psychology and philosophy.< Fumio Koga developed a strong interest in psychology while studying at Rikkyo University and began to study Adlerian psychology.
3.
Writing career: Ichiro Kishimi and Fumio Koga co-authored many works on psychology and philosophy during their writing careers.< Among them, "The Courage to Be Disliked" is one of their most well-known works.
Since its publication in 2013, the book has become a bestseller and has been translated into many languages.< 4.
Style and theme of the work: Ichiro Kishimi and Fumio Koga's works present complex psychological and philosophical theories to readers in an easy-to-understand way.< "The Courage to Be Disliked" unfolds in the form of a dialogue, telling the story of a discussion between a young man and a philosopher about life, courage and interpersonal relationships.
The book advocates that people should have the courage to face their shortcomings and bravely pursue their goals, even if this may make us disliked by others.< 5.
Personal life: There is little public information about the personal lives of Ichiro Kishimi and Fumio Koga.< But it can be inferred that they are also people who actively practice the psychological and philosophical concepts they advocate in their lives.
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Social impact: The book "The Courage to Be Disliked" has had a wide impact in Japan and around the world.< Many readers said that this book changed their views on life and interpersonal relationships, making them more courageous to face difficulties and challenges.
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Quotes and evaluations: "The Courage to Be Disliked" has been well received by many authoritative media and experts.< For example, The New York Times called it "a book that can change your life", and the famous psychologist Jordan Peterson also said that the book "provides us with a completely new way of thinking".
8.
Latest News: After completing "The Courage to Be Disliked", Ichiro Kishimi and Fumio Koga continued to devote themselves to the research and creation of psychology and philosophy.< Their works have been continuously translated into various languages, influencing readers around the world.
At the same time, they also actively participate in various lectures and activities to spread their ideas and thoughts.